Welcome to Kick Out California Dot Com

where you finally get the chance to help kick those damned Californians out of the union

you want blog? we got blog.

Let's face it: Everyone hates California. I mean, like, hella hates it.

There are good reasons:

California votes for actors (more than 1, so take that Minnesota!) to run the government. California has Hollywood. California has medical marijuana – IN VENDING MACHINES!!! California sets environmental policies for the whole country despite being just one, stupid state. California lets people move to other states and ruin their housing markets and hometown feel. California loves Mexicans AND Europeans. California advocates on behalf of ass sex. Charlie Manson. NEED I SAY MORE???

The other day I met a guy FROM CALIFORNIA who made a TV show about two testicles.

The list goes on and on.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO STOP IT!!!

YOUR DONATION WILL HELP GET CALIFORNIA KICKED OUT OF THE UNION!!!

How? Well, we promise to use 100% of the money we here at kickoutcalifornia.com receive (after fees) to keep acting like goddamned Californians. (see above for a list of likely activities).

This strategy will work! (eventually, probably) If you need proof, just think back to all the times when California has gone and done something stupid that made you wish they weren't in the union. Well, EVERYONE ELSE FEELS THAT WAY TOO!!!! It's only a matter of time before critical mass builds to do something about it – and we're egging them on with your help!

Some people have questioned if this is treasonous, given the whole being in California thing. Sure, on the surface it seems like it could be seditious, but look closer: We're not trying to secede. We're just guessing if we keep acting all crazy and shit, you'll eventually just kick our asses out.

In keeping with our laid back mantra (dude, I just totally said mantra) we're not so sure contributing from California won't get you thrown in jail, and we're not planning on finding out for you, but we'd still appreciate your money.

FACT: YOUR MONEY WILL HELP BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

We appreciate your other forms of support (links are cool, talking smack work too) but money is how you can show you care.

How can you help? SEND MONEY NOW!! ANY AMOUNT WILL HELP. NO AMOUNT IS TOO SMALL. The other day a grandmother pledged 23 dollars. WE SPENT IT TO ENSURE PEOPLE CONTINUE TO HATE CALIFORNIA (I'm pretty sure it was on wine by the glass, but it might have been on MTBE free gasoline, or a vegan scone).