first nancy reagan, now gavin newsome

yeesh. gavin newsome, he of ass sex blessing fame, got hitched by a psychic.

why wasn't this news when he got married?

why did i have to wait until an article about her predictions of his future in politics and reproductive practices to find out?

is it because calfiornia is retarded?

yes. yes it is.

it take a minute(man) to be retarded enough for an entire lifetime

yes, the minutemen, not the totally awesome band from san pedro, but the "border vigilantes" from san diego, have come up to san francisco to protest a policy that was recinded well before they ever showed up.

while you're at it, let's go to germany and protest WWII. good idea.

wait for it....wait for it

there it is!

in the last paragraph.

"I used to leave notes on Hummers, how inconsiderate it was for the rest of us"

Ahhh San Francisco.

To be fair - I actually saw a Hummer yesterday in Marin county. really - I swear.

pedestrian killed by public transit in LA - thought train was a flashback

It must have been a wicked flashback or something. I thought I just saw a train in LA.

proudly expressing shame publicly

San Francisco citizens will be voting this fall on if they should name a wastewater treatment plant after a sitting president. Apparently not everyone is amused.

pet masseuse???!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I present Patti Moran, certified animal massage therapist.

Oh Jesus please someone kick California out of the United States already.

Some choice quotes:

"...I was helping to care for abused and neglected donkeys"

"I charge $40 an hour, but I also work for shorter periods depending on the animal's needs and attention span"

"I use a combination of Swedish massage, T-Touch, acupressure, myofascial release, and trigger point. I also offer information about proper nutrition and the use of herbs."

"Eventually animals go into this state where they are totally relaxed and they take me with them."

Oh Christ, just read the whole damned thing.

The comments are excellent: "I teach Acupressure for Animals in Berkeley at the Acupressure Institute"

bolinas - where counter culter meets ass whooping mahem

there are few things more awesome than a bunch of hippies getting together and beating the shit out of a homeless person.

then again, there are few things more californian than bolinas, which is famously located only 2 miles from somewhere.

pro-oil extraction environmentalists

look, as a Californian I love the beach too, don't get me wrong, but am I so in love with the beach that I insist we drill all of the oil out of the ocean to prevent any from naturally spilling?

no. I am not. that would be retarded.

or, the formal position of SLO-based (emphasis on the SLOW part of SLO) SOS-California

who were apparently pissed that they drove all the way to another county to tell that county's residents that if they didn't set up a bunch of unsightly oil dereks in front of their ocean views some oil might escape and float up to the next county north.

Phenomenal Ass, Phenomenally Asinine

(I will start off this post by pointing out the title is exceptionally titular [I am such a jerk] when considered in the context of the cheif law enforcement officer of a county)

Being sheriff of one of California's most conservative counties has it's benefits. Among them: phenomenal ass.

oh and never "having" to shake anyone down.

(does it make him seem totally lame that riding in personal planes is on the list? yes, although the Bou' woulda given him some slack for saying that he got phenomenal ass in personal planes.)

to say nothing of having your personal confidant wired recording everything you say to give to the feds.

it's good to be the king, it sucks to be the king. even if only the king of orange county.

"You're right, I've had a life that's been absolutely blessed," he says. "I've met millionaires, billionaires, I've traveled on personal airplanes, and I never shook anybody down for any [expletive], so. . . . Not that I haven't, you know, drank some great wine, and had great booze and . . . got some, you know, phenomenal [sex] along the way."