"beavers blamed for likely bank failure"

ooooh so many choices.....

Which is more Californian?

Snarky journalist coming up with the headline "beavers blamed for likely bank failure" while financial institutions worldwide are collapsing?

Snarky animal advocates who come up with names like "Worth a Dam" for the non-profit beaver advocacy groups?

Lawyers who are known as wildlife preservation specialists?

Local governments that make crap up just to kill animals?

I can't tell.

Oh and why didn't the journalist (I use the term lightly here) say "Downtown Martinez has more beaver on display than the folsom street fair"?

when the man unmanifies someone

Is it more amazing that the man went and castrated someone or that the LATimes, for the first time ever, showed some restraint?

I quote:

"the 23-year-old male, whom The Times is not identifying because of the nature of his injuries"

So apparently insult is not added to injury in some (wait for it...) circum...stances.

at least the high notes will be easier to hit.

The Bou' will admit he crossed his legs uncomfortably while writing this one up. In a totally different way than he did from the previous post.

It's time for the annual naked leather party

yep. folsom street fair.

bienvenue a san francisco comrades.

where else can you take pictures of penises poking out of chainmail thongs on a public street?

exploiting cute children in the name of ass sex

missing teeth? check
pig tails? check
holds head at cute angles? check

advocates on behalf of ass sex? check.

ahhhh california!

confusing when to yell geronimo and domino

so, if you're already violating rules like "thou shalt not steal" I suppose it's not too much of a stretch to ignore the whole "look before you leap" thing, right?

I mean, the Bou' is pretty sure that this could happen anywhere, but it happened in California, where apparently it's not only hippies that think it's okay to try to break the law of gravity.

hippies, dirty hippies, and yoga instructors

for those of us that are pretty sure iyengar is so commie plot, well, we shouldn't be so surprised that ann arbor, madison and berkeley could all be mentioned in the same obit. but there it is.

I have seen the best minds of my generation

...so full of tripe they'd get kicked out of the halal butcher down the street from my crib.

So, California, it's come to this?

Fine, let Hollywood make a movie about Alan Ginsberg if it must, who am I to stop them? but Señor "Cal Gadot" - IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME - your boldness, well, I would be sitting around and waiting for a very, very, very interminably long time to meet its likeness - you who compares the first public reading of Herr Ginsberg's Howl to the sermon on the mount of all things.

The Bou' knows all sorts of smart ass Californians that are going to compare the lifestyles of Jesus and Alan now, but save it for the comments my friends, no - not the comments here - go directly to the LA Times.

shot put? check. incendiaries? check. donuts?

In the future, everyone in California will be so tweaked on steroids that stuff like this won't make the news.

A lot of people may be wondering, what's up with Saratoga? well, I've been there before - it does not seem like the kind of place where they even had assitant coaches frankly. you know the suburb, perfect weather, perfect lawns and perfect houses on perfect lots. Apparently totally awesome steroid distribution networks too.

I'm still trying to figure out what was going on through this guy's mind - like, was he bitchin' about it to his personal trainer and just snapped or was it more like the soon to be ex wife found just the right thing to get under his skin before leaving: "you can't even keep a job as an assistant coach you loser - I'm LEAVING and I'm taking the pool boy!"

just when you thought you didn't want to know how laws were made

THIS HAPPENS.

California, you are now 70 days late on a budget, but this is not helping.

Also, I know there is meaning in this, does anyone know what it is? I am dying to be in the know on this one.

For the record, the Bou' was in Fresno this weekend, and was in NO WAY involved with this incident.

if you were lucky enough to have rich gay uncles

"Napa Valley's Chanric Inn is one half boutique hotel and one half the kind of place your rich gay uncles would live in...if you were lucky enough to have rich gay uncles."

THEY SAID IT, NOT ME.

homes built in harmony with anything

Look here mahatma, talk all you want about feng shwoosh or whatever, but when you start building your home in harmony with ANYTHING but especially something with two As in it, you're OBVIOUSLY building your yurt in California.

I can't have said it better than some commenter on the original article who said: "Oh yes, the ancient Vedic traditions of austerity, humility and harmony with nature are fully embodied in a 4000 square foot house with a swimming pool in a remote, drought-stricken area sparcely populated by people who live in shacks and trailers."

Oh but it gets worse! They've INVADED IOWA!!!

struggling for words...

The Bou' stumbled upon this tidbit and really is at a loss for words.

Yeah, so much of California in one story:

Atascadero. THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH RIGHT THERE.

Nude beaches.

Flashers.

The police busting flashers.

Flashers at nude beaches.

The police busting flashers at nude beaches.

Flashers hiding behind bush?

I think it's worth pointing out that the Bou' prides himself on his thoughtfulness and witt, but DAMN - this is SO CALIFORNIAN - I just don't know what else to say.