but justin is doing so much for the california economy

The Bou' would like to thank everyone involved in this heartwarming story of self sacrifice:

Carrie Lopez, who represents at least one consumer who is a big fans of Justin Timberlake, resigned after it came to light that she apparently considers stealing from poor people a sport.

so many venues for flaming

when your mayor is highlighting the number of venues for being flaming, well, I mean the Bou' doesn't really know what to say to you san francisco.


The ACTUAL QUOTE: "But (Twitter) is not a forum for flaming. There are plenty of those in San Francisco."

banging and mashing the bangers

Only a week after the Bou' learned that California is also responsible for producing lesbian kickboxing porn movies (more on that later) Californian kickboxers are in the news again.

in a word:

AWESOME.

Apparently the state was sued by a drunk kickboxer on a motorcycle who ran over a bunch of pigs on a highway.

which of the following is the lamest?:

1) drunk kickboxers in wheelchairs

2) wild pigs tearin' it up in beachfront communities

3) California allowing itself to be sued for not keeping wild animals off the street so that drunk kickboxers don't have to worry about maintaining proper stopping distances in beachfront communities?

one guess

The Bou'll give you one guess to figure out which city north of Daly City and south of the Golden Gate Bridge has an "Entertainment Commissioner" (A GOVERNMENT PAID POSITION) who just happens to own a building housing a strip club.

Insert song by the Jam here.

Some of you may be wondering which neighborhood the strip club is located in, so the Bou'll give you a little hint:

It's the neighborhood you're most likely to see a transgendered prostitute trying to decide which stump to shoot up in!

skateboarding parrots

Sure, we're supposed to feel bad, the sick guy's pet got stolen.

But what kind of crap is a skateboarding parrot?

IT'S CALIFORNIAN CRAP - THAT'S WHAT KIND OF CRAP IT IS!!

the official position

on the two state question is:

kick out california first, then let them figure it out.

so, why hasn't virgil donated money already?

why haven't you?

if san francisco was a turd

it would be steaming.

seriously folks:

is there one other place in the world you would think of when you read the line "a coed live-in commune dedicated to the female orgasm"?

no. no there is not

it's true that the Bou' compulsively clicks on links

that feature pet CPR.

Isn't Long Beach already pretty dang smoky?

No smoking on the beaches seems to make sense to the Bou' but should Long Beach be the sponsor?

I mean, the Bou' has been to Long Beach. I don't think it's cigarettes that cause the air to be that way.

so take THAT wine country

in keeping with a theme here...

is it really news that two random people have decided to cancel a vacation for any reason?

I mean, sure, the Bou' couldn't tell if there was some special interest story here like the guy on the right had cancer or something, but really folks, if your goal is reporting on a movement, well, do some reporting; if your goal is to start a movement - oh wait this IS a Hearst paper after all.

it would take a californian to think this is news

Yup, the LA Times is blown away that a bunch of goddamned hippies are buying all the Priuses. Well, duh.

Next you're going to tell me that people driving around drunk are more likely to smash into a random building full of stoners - oh wait.

See, what the LA Times has forgotten is that the rest of the United States of Americans already knows that California is the most Californian place in the world.

Duh people - it's called California for a reason.

I see your drug abuse and I raise you my habit

Ah sunny California, where habits are easy to come by and dudes seem to forget the line "dudes on ludes should not drive".

Where else can you get a guy wasted on booze smashing into a random house and it being a full blown pot farm operation?

totally excellent.

i think i look just like my pet torture contest

good idea san francisco: force people to make their pets look like they think they look themselves.

will someone please stop this?

it's not the answer that's blowin' in the wind

malibu, the place what brings you the best barbi EVAR and, now, stories of Bob Dylan surrounding himself with poop.

what a load of crap all around.

crystal meth + chihuahua = riverside county

Count 'em: 800. wild dogs.

The Bou' is trying to put this in perspective:

if X is wild dog, this is Riverside county's favorite trailer park:

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

AND FOR GODSAKE BE CAREFUL TO KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR CHILDREN - THOSE CHIHUAHUAS CAN BE MEAN WHEN THEY'RE HUNGRY!!!!

The Bou' is not making up this caption from a photograph:

"Residents say the aggressive dogs leave them too afraid to go English classes or the laundromat"

Thank goodness the math and science classes are still being attended.

forget it jake, it's chinatown

The Bou' quotes:

"We could have ramrodded that thing through with the mayor and the City Council, but we said, 'Let the voters decide,' " said City Councilwoman Janice Hahn. "It was an opportunity to vote, and they voted."

Before you go and think that's democracy in action in the city of angels, the Bou' wants you to know that's a reference to putting it up for a vote, the public voting it down, and Los Angeles city council and the mayor deciding to go ahead and do what they wanted all along after the public had their opportunity to vote no and then be promptly ignored.

Like the Bou' said: forget it jake, it's chinatown.

if it wasn't good enough for washington, california will take it

yup, liberal bastion of mis-education berkeley is the proud owner of what is generally regarded as some of the most retarded failure to read the first goddamned clause in the constitution chicanery ever.

nothing says I'm sorry like a dildo with your pink slip

Even California's porn industry is hurting (not in the fun way either) in this down economy.

But there's a glimmer of hope, and it's not astrolube: sex toys appear to be buckin' the trend.

the california lifestyle

The expression "you're being very undude here" does come to mind.

The whole problem with 10% unemployment is that there are actually people looking to work.

WTF California?

California redefines the word friend

yessir, california, ever the vanguard state, has redefined the term friend to include "people who freak out after you die in a hottub from the meth and roofies they fed you".

the 'bou's been pushing the folks he knows in the dictionary business to get with the times on this one.