channel your inner puke

namaste! and greetings from the California department of WTF.

The only thing more Californian than the wanderlust festival is... well. I guess I might as well just shut this site down. This pretty much takes the cake. vegan cake mind you.

now go buy some medicine for the crabs you got last weekend.

spoiled rich kids

San Francisco AGAIN.

What is with this city? apparently these people.

Seriously, the Bou' is tempted to find out where ALL of these peoples' houses are and take a big crap in their front yard.

The Bou' knows that pretty much all cities are run by rich people, but only San Francisco is run by rich kids that act like spoiled whiners.

when I hear the word Fido I reach for my gun

"I can touch it any time I like" is not something the Bou' ever likes to hear.

It's especially not something the Bou' likes to hear about someone's dead dog.

So I get that this is not a Californian story, I just ask why is the LATimes making this news? I can already see a sequel to Beverly Hills Chihuahua being made about how a talking rat wears a special vest made of magic chihuahua fur that allows it to talk.

Oh great, now I'm making the problem worse.

i personally prefer internal frame backpacks

but, hey, what do you expect from a bird brain.

The Bou' is pretty pleased to see how crafty some Californians are about using their cell phones.

California destroys $1.2 Billion in farm products

California apparently does respect farmers' contributions to the economy. Yep. For no good reason apparently this week saw the government destroy 1.2 billion dollars of crop in the wester Sierra -


WAIT JUST ONE GODDAMNED MINUTE!!!

THEY WERE GROWING POT?

WTF?

1.2 billion dollars in weed?

what in the hell is going on in this state?

so there is some blame to go around

but it is worth noting that the stupid idea STARTED in california and spread elsewhere.

in celebration of the highest unemployment rate in a generation:
a pet only airlines.

The Bou' does want to point out that people will be going to hell for this, so it's not as bad as it looks.

coward journalists

yep. san francisco again. in addition to having a rather amazingly terrible record at keeping witnesses alive, san francisco's po-po are apparently really into bad mouthing people that don't trust their ability to keep them alive.

I point to Lt. Mike Stasko, who said of a journalist student who prefers to stay alive:

"we're just going to find some witnesses who aren't cowards, like this student is, hiding behind the shield law"

insert devo theme song here

BUT MOM!!!! ALL I WANTED WAS SOME PAM!!!!

So emotionally ravaged by being Californians are middle school children that they are huffing Pam nonstick spray rather than smoking weed.

now there's legislation.

yes, it's gotten that bad.

porn scion anniversary matricide

Finally, some quality crime in Marin county! I am so sick of all these reports of kids throwing water balloons in Tiburon (DAMN KIDS!!!) and nuisance dog calls in San Rafael (STOP BARKING FIDO!!).

What we need is son of a porn king (excellent title SF chronicle!) whose father murdered his own brother and died 1 year to the day on the date jr decided to bash his ex's head in with a baseball bat and kidnap the now motherless 1 year old on her birthday.

there be sharks

tiburon, home to the bay area's second or third highest property values (in the mood for a nice $35 million crib? how about a 20K a month rental?) is considering going ahead with full on spying on every car that enters the city.

note to potential criminals: steal car first.

oh wait - you knew this already?

you think it's retarded too?

well, then what exactly are they thinking?

the Bou' doesn't know either.

Mayor of LA - VillagaWTF?

Okay, a lot of people may be wondering what is up with Los Angeles, a city of Michael Jackson mourners is a terrifying thing, but in light of that it's not at all surprising that the mayor with eyes on becoming something he thinks is fancier than mayor decided to pay more than $1,400,000 in police expenses to kiss up to the Jackson family and AEG for political contributions.

For the record Mr. Mayor, AEG is run by an extremely conservative republican who HATES you. He does appreciate your retarded attempt to kiss up though. No money spends like liberal tax payer money you know...

dude where's my bong?

Ahhh San Francisco, home of the highest flying freak flags around.

Dude, did you, like, say high? Killer.

You know what San Francisco needs? A protection racket for BONG DEALERS!!!

DUDE!!! KILLER!!!

child labor laws and non-celebutards

Ah Los Angeles, where there are RULES damnit. REAL RULES. RULES that say you can't make even just one child work more than a few hours a day, let alone eight of them that are forever doomed to D class reality trip.

I predict a "jesus christ - the pathos is killing me" tag on this one.

I get this question all the time

"yo bou' - when you gonna write about how messed up California's budget is?"

well, not now. why would I bother when I can write about homeless dudes getting into arguments about quantum physics and bashing heads in with skateboards?

seriously:

homeless? check.

quantum physics? check.

skateboard? check.

headbashing? hellz yeah!