who's johnny? I did it for the golfers comma damnit

some people go to joshua tree because they are U2 fans, some because they are rock climbers.

some do it because they are freakin' INSANE.

oakland finally gets it shit together

I know, we were all getting to the breaking point having to step of the bodies of murdered street walkers to say nothing of kids sitting on their front porches, but oakland has finally got a solution to all its woes:

put an immediate stop to all these terrible nail salons!

THANK FUCKING GOD!!!! IT WAS GETTING SO DAMNED OUT OF CONTROL I HAD NO IDEA IF IT WOULD EVER BE SAFE AGAIN!!


Look. Really. The Bou' has actually had to step around dead bodies on the street in Oakland before, but those kinds of problems pale in comparison to the scourge that is small business owners paying rent to landlords of otherwise vacant parcels and employing themselves and maybe 2 or 3 others? Perhaps, and maybe this is a stretch, but just perhaps if the city council got its head out of its collective ass and actually tried to do something, you know, like, umm, ANYTHING, well then maybe there would just be a chance for Oakland. Except of course for the fact that it is in California.

ass you vee arse onist

welcome, my friends, to california, where assburgers are justification for all sorts of things.

even setting peoples' cars on fire.

i tattooed my heart in san francisco

please, someone, kill these people before they hurt themselves.

setting rosebud on fire as a means for self immolation

WR Hearst most certainly would not go gentle into that dark night if he knew that his former publication wants everyone (at least everyone on the internets in california) to toke up in golden gate park and you know, like, chill a bit. "no need for that apple, dude"

yes, apparently DRUM CIRCLES are good for something other than irritating everyone else. Maybe the Bou' should point out that that would actually be IN ADDITION to irritating everyone else.

extra points to whoever came up with the most retarded line in print on Wednesday September 2, 2009:

"no need for that apple"

The Bou' gives you props for staggering levels of unimagination and thanks you extra especially for the free toilet paper.