Only in San Francisco..

can you run faster than anyone else and lose because you don't consider yourself elite.

seriously lame.

a little background:

Arien O'Connell, a middle school teacher ran faster than all the other women in the Nike (rhymes with hates women) marathon, wasn't allowed to win because she didn't consider herself elite and prizes are only given to the people that consider themselves elite, not the fastest person in the race.

SO TAKE THAT YOU LIBERAL ELITES, or not, maybe. You have confused the Bou'.

Seriously, The line that comes to mind is "what in the hell is wrong with you idiots?" I mean, we already are pretty sure that Portland is like San Francisco in ENGLISH, but come on.

i have some really bad news

The 'bou is really sorry to harsh all y'all's mellows like this but it has to be done.

ED MACMAHON IS LOSING HIS $6.2 MILLION HOME!

I know - terrible isn't it?

(insert meanspirited joke about which publisher is going to clear this house here)

At least he's got a lifetime supply of Alpo to make it a bit easier to handle.

(insert meanspirited joke about alp- oh! wait, just did that)

Now, Mr. Carson, I have to ask your ghostly spirit: WTF man? Can't you hook a sidekick up?