when I hear the word Fido I reach for my gun

"I can touch it any time I like" is not something the Bou' ever likes to hear.

It's especially not something the Bou' likes to hear about someone's dead dog.

So I get that this is not a Californian story, I just ask why is the LATimes making this news? I can already see a sequel to Beverly Hills Chihuahua being made about how a talking rat wears a special vest made of magic chihuahua fur that allows it to talk.

Oh great, now I'm making the problem worse.

a california sandra day o'connor and ruth bader ginzberg walk into a bar...

as if publishing porn isn't bad enough, it turns out that a "conservative" (that's California conservative in case you were praying for clarification) judge is emailing titty jokes to an apparently not so select list.

The Bou' wonders why he got left off the list.

when las vegas has to teach california about justice - you know you're screwed

Yep - the Bou's in a bit of disbelief.

California is now relying to Las Vegas to teach it about morality (It's noteworthy that Florida was not up to the task).

Lame? Absolutely.

But at least it came with this awesome picture!

It's not just san francisco that's got flamers folks

Redding California apparently does too.

Yep, a squirrel with a rainbow speedo apparently got hopped up on amyl nitrate and started a fire in Redding.

IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE????

In related news, for the first time ever, dry vegetation was sparked in northern California that was not marijuana. True.

i want everything - nothing less

wait for it....wait for it

there it is!

in the last paragraph.

"I used to leave notes on Hummers, how inconsiderate it was for the rest of us"

Ahhh San Francisco.

To be fair - I actually saw a Hummer yesterday in Marin county. really - I swear.

gavin newsom

"So California goes, so goes the nation."

yep - he said that.

Look folks, I can't think of a bigger warning sign - this guy is waving a big flag, actually I think he's poking the flag pole directly into your eye.

And so Gavin Newsom is added to my list of Californians that make people want to kick California out of the union.

I will improvise a little check list for you:


smug? check

meanspirited vindictiveness? check

hair? check

hair stuff? check

terrifying photo that looks like it could either be from a movie about a politician's rise and fall or from a bad dream roger waters had? check

cheats on staffers with staffers' wives who are also staffers? check

looks good doing it? check (this is I suppose a matter of personal preference, technically he's not my type, but I hear this from women all the time: "he is sooooo handsome". yuck.)

frank zappa

I figure if I'm going to start listing individual Californians I better start with the very best example of the benefits of kicking California out of the union.

Frank Zappa.

You remember, the whole PMRC fight with Tipper Gore (funny how they never mentioned that during the presidential races), but lets not forgot all the other great Zappa-isms:

1) Wearing blackface on an album with an integrated band

2) Making fun of other people's religions

3) Songs like "why does it hurt when I pee?"

4) LONG HAIR

and that's all just on ONE ALBUM!!!

This guy pretty much epitomizes everything wrong with Californian's smug irony and cynicism AND he bred kids that were not only named Dweezil and Moon Unit, but who are actually Dweezil Zappa and Moon Unit Zappa.

Here's some proof: