i want everything - nothing less

Henry T. Nicholas III

This week in California CEOs features Henry T. Nicholas III, former CEO of Broadcom (market capitalization $15 Billion).

Backdate stock option grant dates? check.

Overstate earnings almost entirely related to those options for more then $2 Billion? check.

Party a little bit too hard? check.

Party way too hard? check.

Maintain a warehouse of cocain, ecstasy, and meth? check.

Spike the drinks of customers and fellow executives with ecstasy? check.

Really? yes.

Have massive orgies with strippers in a personal sex dungeon? duh.

Check self into rehab for boozin' it up? check.

Networth around $2.5 Billion? check.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you Hank Nicholas:

makeup on men

No, rock and roll is not an excuse. you are wearing makeup.

I'm talking to you, Steven Tyler.

Gross.

van halen

I know I know I know. you're thinkin' Boutros, will we lose van halen if we get california kicked out of the union? I've wondered too.

In fact I've thought long and hard about it. here's what I've come up with:

1) Despite an awful lot of rocking, van halen sucks. No matter what anyone says, they haven't had a great album since 1979 and even that is a stretch by about a year. what really sucks about van halen is that they're like a soap opera instead of like a proper rock band where someone dies and it's over. kinda like cheap trick, except that I'm pretty sure cheap trick has always rocked, hasn't really kicked anyone out and back into the band multiple times, and no one has died (and they're from illinois, which is staying put).

2) Even despite 1) above, it's pretty clear that losing van halen is a real risk for kicking california out of the union - but then it dawned on me:

there are lots of great hard rockin' bands from outside of the united states.

iron maiden comes to mind. so do the scorpions. plus i'm pretty sure that sammy hagar lives in mexico most of the time already anyway.

so it's not all bad. that's all I'm saying. and on the plus side, well, eddie van halen could be denied a visa for the US during his coke binges.