concerned citizen stops progress

some hippie is possibly preventing the entire south of california from being paved to protect a salamander that can't even cross a road without getting smooshed. I swear.

vegan terrorists

miltant animal rights activists... hmmm...

the Bou' wonders which state they'd come from...

oh wait, no he doesn't. California, my friends. California is where Daniel Andreas San Diego, who bombed multiple facilities who contracted with an animal testing facility, lived...wait for it...no, not in the woods (good guess though) the suburban sprawl of wine country. gotta love it.

queue the line from repo man...

"I blame society - society made me what I am"

reality TV turned up a notch - California style

where else can you watch a man throw himself into a a city bus that doesn't stop, people break into cars, drag races and bum fights in High Definition?

well, on the internets of california, duh!

Now, the Bou' is always amazed at little moving boxes of light - there's one sitting on his lap right now - but taking cinema verite to the next level, well, that takes it to a whole new level.

What the Bou' doesn't get is why anyone would move to the 'Loin...

bonus endorsement from the SF Comical: "one of the greatest at-work time-killers ever to pop up on your monitor"

hippies, dirty hippies, and yoga instructors

for those of us that are pretty sure iyengar is so commie plot, well, we shouldn't be so surprised that ann arbor, madison and berkeley could all be mentioned in the same obit. but there it is.

bolinas - where counter culter meets ass whooping mahem

there are few things more awesome than a bunch of hippies getting together and beating the shit out of a homeless person.

then again, there are few things more californian than bolinas, which is famously located only 2 miles from somewhere.

zen retreat centers

you may have heard of these things before. the rest of the world calls them CULTS.

California is filled with them. They're always near the ocean, they've got farms, some of them can actually be seen FROM SPACE.

yes, California has a problem with zen retreat centers.

zen is codeword for communist.

retreat center is code word for either rich people being lazy or terrorist training camp.

I will highlight just a few:

Odiyan

"work as practice"?

this place is run by slaves. it's HUGE. there are either a lot of slaves or a medium amount of very productive ones.

you can see it from space.

Green Gulch Zen Farm

for lazy hippies who don't want to have to drive to far from their san francisco bay area homes to join a cult.

Green Gulch sounds like a social disease. It may actually be one.

Tassajara Zen Mountain Center.

"America's oldest monastery dedicated to buddhism"

if you think that's bad just check out the recent quotes from the LATimes talking about the big sur fires:

"At Tassajara, a crew of monastic protectors showed the same fortitude as suburban homeowners hosing down their homes in the orange glow of approaching flames.

"We don't intend to let the oldest Buddhist monastery in the Western Hemisphere burn," declared Greg Fain, who rushed down from the Bay Area, where he serves as treasurer of the San Francisco Zen Center.

"This place is my heart," said Fain, eyes narrowing behind black horn-rim glasses, his shaved head covered by a yellow baseball cap. "Every time I come over the ridge, my heart starts to soar.""

1) suburbs and zen center are equated.

2) soaring hearts?

3) I take it as a given that san francisco has a zen center, but that it has a treasurer? sheesh.

HOV lanes

ever been in a car with less than three people in it and found that you can't use the fast lane?

blame california!

oh, and start carpooling, jerk.

fun filled experiments in creating peace

Come on. "fun filled experiments in creating peace street faire"? I am not making this crap up. Worse still, apparently this is the 9th year.

"hosting magic and other performances"

If there's gonna be magic, I sure hope the stallion is going to be there. Either him or David Copperfield.

Celebrating 4/20 in a field with stinky hippies

I don't have to do anything more than point to these pictures.

Frankly, I don't see why they called the police, it looks like they should have called a fire truck based on all the weed those kids were burning.

Talk about a grass fire.

more on yoga

I had a realization the other day:

yoga is like drinking alcohol for damned hippies.

so I ask California: what in the hell is so wrong with alcohol? it's bad enough that you banned smoking in rock clubs, what next alcohol in bars?

cars driven by vegetarians that smell like chicken

I shouldn't have to do anything other than shudder after writing that title, but I will instead paint a picture:

Highway 1, somewhere between Santa Cruz and Half Moon Bay.

There are clouds scattered across the sky that seem to float despite the firm, salty breeze that blows your organic wool knitted scarf as you gaze upon the pelicans and cormorants from your cliftop roadside perch.

You sigh as you think about how terrible it is that just a few hundred miles south of here there are oil derricks ruining the view of the channel islands. Form a moment you wonder if you should wait until the sun sets, but then you shiver and realize your almond milk latte may still be warm so you turn around and head back to your either 27 year old Mercedes 300 (pre-83, you note, because it's easier to run SVO with the older engines) or your 2002 Jetta TDI wagon with the custom veggie tank in the back.

You get in, take a sip (it IS still warm, thank goddess), turn the key to warm those little glow plugs, start her up and pull out onto the highway in a black cloud of chicken scented smoke.

As you pull away I can almost make out the "all who wander are not lost" bumper sticker from under the soot.

not just vanity plates, eco vanity plates

ugh.

I have previously mentioned vanity plates on prii, but here's proof.

sprouts for a living? come on!

I received a communication from someone in California via an online chat in which I was informed that they SOLD SPROUTS FOR A LIVING!!!!

SPROUTS!

FOR A LIVING!!!

Okay, selling sprouts is bad enough, but doing it for a living?

KICK 'EM OUT!!!!

boobs not bombs

yep. mendo county. must be all the weed and shrooms they grow up there. the county's biggest cash crop is weed. their biggest export, boobs. of all kinds of course.




so there you go. sorry for ruining your meal if you were eating.

Cafe Gratitude

I shit you not.

More creepy hugs than a NAMBLA meeting. During a meal to boot.

Cafe Gratitude is a San Francisco Bay Area feel good vegan restaurant chain that features such fine dishes as "I am renewed" and "I am aloha". I am not making this up.


Oh and a board game called the abounding river that is designed to "encompasses both training people in a day to day practice as well as discovering a Spiritual foundation that opens up to a whole new way of looking at money and resources. People experience themselves being at the source of unlimited supply."

Like, gag me with a sustainably harvested spoon.

How you are supposed to eat with all the hugging and sensual massages going on I have no idea.

I am pretty sure that this is run by a cult as a tax shelter or recruiting center (or both). There were probably 3 employees for every paying customer.