concerned citizen stops progress

some hippie is possibly preventing the entire south of california from being paved to protect a salamander that can't even cross a road without getting smooshed. I swear.

but why stop with one californian celebrity trial

WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM????

I will point out that mostly they blame crystal meth for all of phil spector's problems - but the Bou' knows it's really only California that can take a nice jewish boy from new york and turn him in to one of the most spectacular freaks of nature ever to point a gun at joey ramone.

come to california and kill over ice cream

The Bou' points out that California not only has tons of "endangered" species, but that if those endangered species team up on you and your mate, steal your ice cream and shit on you, well deal with it.

cars driven by vegetarians that smell like chicken

I shouldn't have to do anything other than shudder after writing that title, but I will instead paint a picture:

Highway 1, somewhere between Santa Cruz and Half Moon Bay.

There are clouds scattered across the sky that seem to float despite the firm, salty breeze that blows your organic wool knitted scarf as you gaze upon the pelicans and cormorants from your cliftop roadside perch.

You sigh as you think about how terrible it is that just a few hundred miles south of here there are oil derricks ruining the view of the channel islands. Form a moment you wonder if you should wait until the sun sets, but then you shiver and realize your almond milk latte may still be warm so you turn around and head back to your either 27 year old Mercedes 300 (pre-83, you note, because it's easier to run SVO with the older engines) or your 2002 Jetta TDI wagon with the custom veggie tank in the back.

You get in, take a sip (it IS still warm, thank goddess), turn the key to warm those little glow plugs, start her up and pull out onto the highway in a black cloud of chicken scented smoke.

As you pull away I can almost make out the "all who wander are not lost" bumper sticker from under the soot.