why leave all the poopy water to the southerners?

sausalito, land of rich white people and gagillion dollar seaside h.... hey waitaminnit! didn't I just write about this?

no, it turns out that I didn't - Marin county's own Sausalito was apparently so appalled at those tan, smug bastards in southern california that they decided to poop in their own pool to show 'em who's who.

SO TAKE THAT LA JOYA!!!

children swimming in seal feces

Oh mommy! Mommy! Let's go! Let's go!!!

The city of gagillion dollar seaside homes is tired of spending money arguing with the spoiled parents of spoiled children about dangerous wildlife that has historically utilized the area's coastal regions for millions of years so they have made it legal for seals to poop in pools. I know it's confusing how having seals lawfully permitted to poop in a pool your child is using would make a lawsuit go away, and in all likelihood it will not, but the environmentalists are barking (seals bark you know) on one side and the poopaphobic parents are screaming gagillion dollar poop abatement plan on the other. I mean, what's a seaside resort community of entitlement and crass consumption to do?

+ =

The Bou' wants to know where to get those Prada seal bashing clubs!

pet masseuse???!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I present Patti Moran, certified animal massage therapist.

Oh Jesus please someone kick California out of the United States already.

Some choice quotes:

"...I was helping to care for abused and neglected donkeys"

"I charge $40 an hour, but I also work for shorter periods depending on the animal's needs and attention span"

"I use a combination of Swedish massage, T-Touch, acupressure, myofascial release, and trigger point. I also offer information about proper nutrition and the use of herbs."

"Eventually animals go into this state where they are totally relaxed and they take me with them."

Oh Christ, just read the whole damned thing.

The comments are excellent: "I teach Acupressure for Animals in Berkeley at the Acupressure Institute"