v is for victory!

homeless people are so prevalent in san francisco that, when the city decided to tear up the lawn in front of city hall to plant some locally grown produce, they had to hire security guards to stop the homeless people from eating the produce.

it costs them $3500 a week in security charges.

but hey, let's look into those charges... apparently it's not to protect the food from being eaten, it's to stop homeless people from peeing on the food. and how safe is san francisco's civic center at night? well the cost of security is high because apparently the security guards are afraid to be there by themselves amongst all the potentially peed on plants.

in case you were wondering, the plot is about 30 feet wide and 200 feet long, surrounded by a 3 foot high fence of hay.

now that's what the Bou' calls a victory garden!

yeesh

Yesterday a group of us piled into an english performance sport utility vehicle, drove to the extreme trailhead with the best parking and went for a scramble. Afterwards we barbequed organic pizzas from local produce on a large deck and debated which wine to pair with the local catch fish while talking about custom bicycles and best bicycle commuting routes.

Throw in a little conversation about interesting intellectual property cases and the problems with finding good partners for private planes and you've pretty much got what I'd call a quintessential Californian weekend.

lovable, but bastards none the less - sham weddings to boot

This past weekend the Bou' did some wedding.

Hang on ladies, and don't worry, the Bou' himself did not get hitched: he was doin' the hitchin'.

I won't get too much into the details (naming names and such) because, well, I was paid not to, but let me just tell you:

There were bastards involved.

This is how California seems to work these days:

We've been living together IN SIN for years, we have a little bastard of our own already, are probably collecting all sorts of government handouts for it too, but we want to have a party - let's pretend to get married!

I'm pretty sure that in all of the hullabaloo surrounding the rampant gay marriages goin' on right now no one bothered to notice that THIS WAS A SHAM WEDDING.

I have two words for you all:

SMOKE

and

MIRRORS

But the food was really good, and the wine was all local. Pretty much totally amazing actually.

What kind of a state lets this sort of thing happen?

NOT THE KIND THAT SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO STAY IN THE UNION THAT'S FOR SURE!!!!

kick 'em out!

the economic stimulus party

what happens when you cram too many rich white bastards into one formerly poor mexican neighborhood?

the smugness just oozes out all over the place, that's what happens.

I got an email the other day that said this:

"THE ECONOMIC STIMULUS CHECKS HAVE ARRIVED!!!

Hello my friends-

I while back I sent many of you a lengthy email detailing my plan to throw an economic stimulus party. Im sure many of you have been waiting with bated breath to hear details about when and where you will be able to participate in this fabled event.

A number of factors have been distracting me and as a result I have sent you all no updates. Luckily, two local geniuses have been working in parallel to develop their own flavor of the Econ Stim party (economicstimulusparty.org) and they are throwing a kick ass shin dig on June 7 at the Northstar bar in Northbeach (check the website for details). All proceeds are going to a great charity and its an open bar. No losers there.

I have also not been totally neglecting my end of the econ stim party. In partnership with the residents of [insert hipster address here], I will be hosting a lamb roast, local foods and beer extravaganza this coming sunday. THATS RIGHT, A LAMB ROAST. We will be cooking an entire lamb provencal style and serving wonderful side dishes that even our vegetarian and vegan friends will find sumptuous. The key details are as follows: this coming sunday (May 25) we will be hosting an all day grill out at [more hipster address goes here] Mission, San Francisco, Ca.
You are all encouraged to bring something to share with family, friends and neighbors.

PLEASE CONSIDER BUYING LOCAL, SUSTAINABLY GROWN WHEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU BRING."

Now, I know what you're thinking: why don't I give you the address so you can go and beat their asses. Well, the Bou' doesn't want blood on his hands, that's why he left the UN and joined up with the kickoutcalifornia.com efforts, duh.

So, what are your options? Did you have to ask?

blogging about yoga

I promise you - promise - that I will be posting more about people who blog about everything.

but this (as reported by an allied reader) takes the locally produced artisan dark chocolate made from machines imported from spain flourless cake (I quote in its entirety):

this is an ACTUAL conversation that I overheard in a yoga studio
locker room today:


chick #1: oh my god, it was so hot in there today
chick #2: I know. I totally sweated through my shirt and my sports bra too.
chick #1: wow. you totally did.
chick #2: yeah. that's a lot.
chick #1: you should blog about it.
chick #2: totally. I totally will.