when your official city policy is to disriminate against poor people

you gotta be in the bastion of liberalism - the east bay of california.

h00ray Oakland!

it's not the answer that's blowin' in the wind

malibu, the place what brings you the best barbi EVAR and, now, stories of Bob Dylan surrounding himself with poop.

what a load of crap all around.

children swimming in seal feces

Oh mommy! Mommy! Let's go! Let's go!!!

The city of gagillion dollar seaside homes is tired of spending money arguing with the spoiled parents of spoiled children about dangerous wildlife that has historically utilized the area's coastal regions for millions of years so they have made it legal for seals to poop in pools. I know it's confusing how having seals lawfully permitted to poop in a pool your child is using would make a lawsuit go away, and in all likelihood it will not, but the environmentalists are barking (seals bark you know) on one side and the poopaphobic parents are screaming gagillion dollar poop abatement plan on the other. I mean, what's a seaside resort community of entitlement and crass consumption to do?

+ =

The Bou' wants to know where to get those Prada seal bashing clubs!

California - the land of opportunity

and slavery. awesome.

when the man unmanifies someone

Is it more amazing that the man went and castrated someone or that the LATimes, for the first time ever, showed some restraint?

I quote:

"the 23-year-old male, whom The Times is not identifying because of the nature of his injuries"

So apparently insult is not added to injury in some (wait for it...) circum...stances.

at least the high notes will be easier to hit.

The Bou' will admit he crossed his legs uncomfortably while writing this one up. In a totally different way than he did from the previous post.

zen retreat centers

you may have heard of these things before. the rest of the world calls them CULTS.

California is filled with them. They're always near the ocean, they've got farms, some of them can actually be seen FROM SPACE.

yes, California has a problem with zen retreat centers.

zen is codeword for communist.

retreat center is code word for either rich people being lazy or terrorist training camp.

I will highlight just a few:

Odiyan

"work as practice"?

this place is run by slaves. it's HUGE. there are either a lot of slaves or a medium amount of very productive ones.

you can see it from space.

Green Gulch Zen Farm

for lazy hippies who don't want to have to drive to far from their san francisco bay area homes to join a cult.

Green Gulch sounds like a social disease. It may actually be one.

Tassajara Zen Mountain Center.

"America's oldest monastery dedicated to buddhism"

if you think that's bad just check out the recent quotes from the LATimes talking about the big sur fires:

"At Tassajara, a crew of monastic protectors showed the same fortitude as suburban homeowners hosing down their homes in the orange glow of approaching flames.

"We don't intend to let the oldest Buddhist monastery in the Western Hemisphere burn," declared Greg Fain, who rushed down from the Bay Area, where he serves as treasurer of the San Francisco Zen Center.

"This place is my heart," said Fain, eyes narrowing behind black horn-rim glasses, his shaved head covered by a yellow baseball cap. "Every time I come over the ridge, my heart starts to soar.""

1) suburbs and zen center are equated.

2) soaring hearts?

3) I take it as a given that san francisco has a zen center, but that it has a treasurer? sheesh.

frank zappa

I figure if I'm going to start listing individual Californians I better start with the very best example of the benefits of kicking California out of the union.

Frank Zappa.

You remember, the whole PMRC fight with Tipper Gore (funny how they never mentioned that during the presidential races), but lets not forgot all the other great Zappa-isms:

1) Wearing blackface on an album with an integrated band

2) Making fun of other people's religions

3) Songs like "why does it hurt when I pee?"

4) LONG HAIR

and that's all just on ONE ALBUM!!!

This guy pretty much epitomizes everything wrong with Californian's smug irony and cynicism AND he bred kids that were not only named Dweezil and Moon Unit, but who are actually Dweezil Zappa and Moon Unit Zappa.

Here's some proof:

startups

....I am going to count to three and when I reach the number three you will wake up and you will always think the following:

Whenever anyone says they work for a startup you will understand them to say that they have herpes. They are pretty much the same thing, you can treat them, but it's expensive to do so and they never really go away, they always break out all over the place in embarrassing ways when things seem to be going a little too well, and they seem compelled to be noticed by everyone, even if you're trying not to notice them.

In case you were wondering, California caused the herpes.

1...2...3

That will be $5. Have a good day.