what? they took away her troop leader status?

TRACY!!! The gateway to the central valley (the Bou' is not making up that name) - home to girl scout troop leaders that keep, by all appearances, slaves.

In case you get confused by all the ass sex in san francisco and those damned liberal hollywood types in los angeles, the central valley is the MORAL COMPASS of California - where Californians go to learn important life skills like how to sell cookies for money and how much to pay someone to steal their child, keep them chained to a wall and make them do all your chores.

frank zappa

I figure if I'm going to start listing individual Californians I better start with the very best example of the benefits of kicking California out of the union.

Frank Zappa.

You remember, the whole PMRC fight with Tipper Gore (funny how they never mentioned that during the presidential races), but lets not forgot all the other great Zappa-isms:

1) Wearing blackface on an album with an integrated band

2) Making fun of other people's religions

3) Songs like "why does it hurt when I pee?"

4) LONG HAIR

and that's all just on ONE ALBUM!!!

This guy pretty much epitomizes everything wrong with Californian's smug irony and cynicism AND he bred kids that were not only named Dweezil and Moon Unit, but who are actually Dweezil Zappa and Moon Unit Zappa.

Here's some proof:

"the valley"

Okay, guess what? just because Los Angeles is the center of your world doesn't mean it's the center of THE world.

In fact, though it may be a strain for your smaller than average brain (scientific fact!) there are other valleys in the world. Not only that but there are bigger ones and ones that have more people in them. In fact, the only unique element of "the valley" when compared to all the other valleys in the world is that there is no valley that makes more PORN.

That's it.

This not so subtle self aggrandizing bogusness is a clarion call to the rest of humanity to donate right now so we can ensure that these denizens of and (worse!) migrants from "the valley" and the rest of their californian neighbors are given their rightful place away from the rest of us.

This spoon gagging bogosity is precisely what must be purged.